Erroll Finn Flowers.

This pregnancy was not planned on my end. I knew I wanted a third, and had put a bug in Beau's (my husbands) ear about the idea of getting ready to try for another, but after sometime I decided I wanted to wait another year. My baby at the time, Hudson, was such a mama's boy and really needed a lot of attention. The thought of trying to care for a brand new baby and still have this little baby, to me he seemed, at the same time, overwhelmed me. Also, I really wanted to just focus on photography that year and building my business. So of course, the minute I told Beau I wanted to wait another year, he thought he would surprise me. And ladies sometimes that's not the surprise you'd like. I secretly prayed that maybe I wouldn't get pregnant, and Beau's plan had failed. Hudson we had to try a couple of times before we got pregnant, so I hoped that would be the same case. But as time went on, I just had that feeling, and I knew I was pregnant. The days and weeks could not have gone any slower, trying to wait until I was far enough along to confirm I was pregnant was paaainful. The time came to take a the test, deep down inside I already knew, but just needed the confirmation, it only took seconds before there were two bright as day lines on the pee stick. Beau was estactic, and I was distraught to say the least. I think that's the first time I cried after taking a test, and they weren't happy tears. I don't think they were sad tears either, they were the tears of, my baby isn't going to be my baby anymore, how am I going to have a third? I don't feel ready, I'm not ready, the timing is not right, oh AND I get to be pregnant through out the whole bloody hot summer, like HUGE pregnant. It was the end of January when we found out, which meant I would be expecting in October, so pregnant through out the summer. Noah, my first, was born in September and I made a promise I would never do a summer pregnancy again. Summer's in Southern Utah are brutal. But thanks to a lot of maxi dresses, and weightless floating days at the pool, we made it through. I can actually say this was my first pregnancy where I felt comfortable and beautiful in my own pregnant skin. I embraced each trimester with open arms, and loved dressing my bump.

I felt like my third pregnancy was so different in so many ways, my labor was even different. This was going to be my second home birth and I knew what to expect. I was kind of scared to actually go into labor this time around because I knew the pain I was going to have to endure. I was perfectly content cooking that baby for as long as possible, and not to add I was so busy chasing my older two around. I felt like my hands were already full. My first home birth went well, it went fast, and it was painful. It went so fast in fact I was holding a baby in my arms before I even had any chance to process any of my labor. Or at least that's how I felt. I enjoyed my experience, but felt like I never really was in control of that labor, my body took over, I was out of it, and I felt defeated by the pain, I had completely surrendered. I still wouldn't have traded my experience, but I knew what I wanted to do it different this time around. I wanted to be present in this labor and to be able to really process every moment of this birth with every contraction, but I was nervous.

My sister in law happened to be pregnant with me at the same time, just a month ahead. She was a professional natural laborer, and on her 6th child. So I went to her for advice. I wanted to know all of her secrets and what really helped her through all of her births. Her advice to me was, you have to birth without fear. You have to mentally get your self in a state of mind where you are in control, and you are telling your body what to do, that it's not painful, and to take control. So I was determined.

My first two boys were a week early, so I was kind of thinking Finn would come early too. I didn't want to put that in my mind though just in case he didn't come early, and I didn't want to get discouraged if he was late. But I was eager to meet him. We had been working on little projects here and there in our home for his arrival, so I wanted to be sure those were done before he came. Beau cut it close, but he did it, now we were ready for our new little babe.

A couple weeks before my birth I had started to get contractions in the night, they were pretty strong I would think this is going to be it. With both of my last pregnancies once I got the strong period cramp contractions that usually meant I was starting to go into labor shortly, so in the back of my mind every time I would get these contractions I would think, this is going to be it. But they always ended up going away. At first it was kind of frusterating because I didn't know what my body was doing. I kept getting false hope. But then I thought ok, this is good. Hopefully this means my body is in early labor and doing most of the work now, so when I actually go into hard labor I will be able to process it a little better. I kept getting these contractions off and on through out the next couple of weeks. Then came my due date, Monday the 12th. Which I never thought I would have met baby-less. But I welcomed it. I immediately called my chiropractor who I had been seeing once a week for that whole month, and made an appointment. I was going to do whatever I could to have this baby, I was determined. Also, I kind of just had a feeling he was going to come, I kept telling myself this was the day. I went and got adjusted and carried on through out my day like I would have any other day. I wasn't getting any consistent contractions that gave me any hope of labor. I called my beau and told him to plan on going for a walk when he got off work. I was ready to walk this baby right out. I had been going on walks every night that weekend before to try and get things started but it never worked. It would give me some strong contractions, but they always ended up stopping after a few. I knew things were getting so close, I just had to try and get them going and keep them going.

Monday evening came, and we headed out for our family walk. This was my first walk where I didn't have to slow down from any contractions. I thought that was weird. All of my other previous walks had given me a handful of good contractions, and then right before we headed into the house from our walk I got hit with a contraction.. It was a good contraction. I went straight to my yoga ball to roll around my hips and in hopes it would keep things going a little bit, and also relieve some of my back pressure from the contraction. I had been sitting on the yoga ball avidly for weeks now. My contractions kept coming about 10 minutes apart and I thought ok this is it. At this time it was about 7:30pm I text my sister to let her know I was going to probably have a baby that night, and to stay close to her phone. I would update her if they got any closer. I had also text my midwife, Liz, to let her know my contractions were about 10 minutes apart and I would call her if they got any closer. At this point my contractions had now gotten to be about 5-7 minutes apart. My sister was on her way over, so Beau and I (mostly Beau) got our boys ready for bed and tucked them in. My sister got to my house around 8:40pm and started to help Beau get things ready, the crock pot with hot towels, my birthing tub, birth kit supplies. This was my first time doing the birthing tub and at this point my contractions were pretty painful and I was excited to use the pool to relieve some of my back pressure. My contractions had stayed consistent at about 5 minutes apart. Beau kept on asking if I wanted to call Liz and have her head over, but I wanted to be sure I was far enough along in labor before she came. But sure enough with the next contraction I knew we were getting close. It was about 9:38pm when we called Liz and told her it was time to come out, and we made the phone call to my parents as well.

It was 10pm once everyone had arrived by now I had gotten into the labor pool and it felt amazing. I could actually relax. I was kind of nervous it was going to slow down my contractions, just in time for my midwife to get there. I thought oh great, now that Liz is here of course my labor is going to stall. But it didn't, with each contraction I knew things were going to happen soon. She had checked me when she arrived but I don't remember what I was dilated to, also my water still hadn't broke. I labored in the pool through each contraction for the next 45 minutes, as Liz would monitor Finn's heartbeat. I was laying on the side of the tub for support. Each contraction Beau would put pressure on my back, my mom was going back and forth from the crock pot to the pool with hot towels for my belly, and my sister was pouring bath water on the hot towels that were on my stomach. It helped with the pain SO much. What I really loved even more about the pool, is once I was able to get through a contraction I could just lay weightlessly in the pool and truly relax. It made the world of a difference, and felt amazing.

I started to get the urge to push, and I really didn't want to accidentally go to the bathroom in the pool. My midwife told me I could stay in the pool if I wanted, but I felt like I wanted to go and labor on my toilet for a while. With my last birth I really didn't like the toilet, but this time I thought I would give it a shot. I felt different this time around, and I had been working through my contractions really well, and that's what sounded good. I went into my bathroom around 10:45pm and sat on the toilet. At this point my contractions were only a minute apart, leaving not a lot of room to be able to relax in between. I labored on my toilet, which felt pretty good this time, I had a stool at my feet, Beau was still applying pressure to my back through contractions and my mom was at my side with hot towels to help. I would kind of push through each contraction, not hard but to where it felt comfortable. By this time I knew the baby was getting close, because I started having the urge to push. After about 10 minutes on the toilet, I decided to get back into the tub. My sister had been taking pictures the entire time, and I got to the point where I really just needed her help, and I didn't want her busy taking pictures, so I had her call my good friend, Cassidy, who was awaiting my call for pictures if the time came, and it did. It was 11:00pm at this time and through each contraction I would lightly push through my contractions . Hopping back in the pool felt so good. I was able to relax a little more. I had my sister add some hot water to the tub to take the edge off even more, and continued to labor in there. My water still had not broke, I thought it had broke at some point in the tub, Liz checked me to make sure, and it never had. When she checked me I was at an 8, and I remember that was not a number I wanted to hear, I felt like I was really ready to push, and had the urge, so figured I was definitely a 10. She told me to not get discouraged and an 8 was as good as a 10 since this was my third baby. By this time it was about midnight and she went ahead and broke my water, and things immediately progressed. I was starting to transition because I finally got to the point where I didn't think I could take another contraction. I was done. I kept visualizing holding my brand new baby and really tried to stay focused and not get discouraged. I had a few more good contractions in the pool, and pushed through each one. The way I was sitting in the pool was making it hard for my baby to come up under my pelvic bone, Liz said I could continue to labor in the pool or if I wanted to get him here quicker I could get out and lay on the floor to help his head move up under my bone. At this point I really just wanted to meet my baby so I was ready to do just about anything.

It was about 12:15am now, I had one last hard contraction in the pool, and then Beau helped me out. I got situated on the floor, and Liz got everything ready for delivery. The moment was finally here and I was ready. The thought of being so close to holding my baby I'd been waiting for so long to hold was finally here, I just had to push. My mom kept bringing me hot towels, and at this point I didn't have Beau to help relieve my back pressure, because he was getting ready to help catch a baby. I had my sister and Liz's assistant at my sides, holding up my legs, coaching me, and Cassidy holding my hand and trying to take pictures at the same time. This was the hardest part and if I could just hang in a little while longer my reward would finally be here. I gave a few hard pushes. I remember trying to push his head out and thinking he was going to be stuck in there forever. I was pushing as hard as I could and I didn't feel like he was coming, but everyone assured me he was right there and they could see his head. All of their support and words of encouragement got me through that hard push, and we had a head. I was so happy. Most of my work was done. I put my hands down to feel my baby. I was ready to catch him myself, but I knew Beau had planned on doing that, so I rested in between my last contraction while Liz got Beau ready to catch Finn and was coaching him on what to do. She told me to push once more to get his shoulders through. I remember thinking I have to push again? Impossible. I remember Hudson just falling out in one push, so I wasn't prepared to have to push again, But I gave it one last push with the next contraction and out he came at exactly 12:22am. I cannot even put into words the feeling I had in that moment. That was the feeling I was waiting for this whole labor. My baby was finally here. I kept saying, oh baby, my baby you are finally here. Beau put him up on my chest, and I was in heaven. I was so relieved I was at the end of my labor, and he was finally here. I started observing my perfect little boy. He was beautiful, I couldn't believe how perfect he was, and he had hair. I was eyeing every little perfection on my brand new baby. I had waited 9 long months to meet him and he was finally here. Beau came up to my side and together we stared at our new, straight from heaven, beautiful boy. We felt so blessed. I felt so blessed.

I finished delivering my placenta, and then slowly made my way to my bed. Beau had taken Finn to show him off to his Papa, and our visitors we had accquired. Once I was in my bed, Liz cleaned him up a bit and started to weigh him, measure him and check him. Erroll Finn Flowers weighed 7 pounds 13 ounces and was 20 inches long. Straight perfection. I was in heaven, I felt great, and I could finally relax now that my baby was here. Once Liz was done with him she handed him to me, and he was all mine. I breathed him in and starred at him some more. Beau came and laid down beside us and together we fell in love with this new little spirit. The minute Finn had came out he was ready to nurse, so he latched right away and nursed until his heart was content. My boys had slept through the entire thing and I wanted so badly to wake them up to come and meet their brother, but I decided to wait, and to surprise them in the morning. Once everyone knew we were ok, and that the baby was adjusting well, they all cleared their way out and went home. It was just Beau, Finn and I and we just laid together and eventually drifted off to sleep.

A few hours passed and Hudson was the first to wake up just like he usually is and made his way into our room. I immediately woke up Beau so he could go get Noah. Beau grabbed Hudson and together they went to wake up Noah. Once they were both awake they came into my room for their morning surprise. They couldn't believe their new baby brother was here. Watching my two older boys meet their baby brother for the first time will definitely go down as one of my favorite moments in time. Finn's presence and the spirit he brought with him was so strong. I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude, and love. I felt like he had been apart of our family the whole time, and we were finally complete. All of my loves snuggled into my bed and we just oohed and awed over our little Finn..

I didn't mention that I had hired a videographer the minute I found out I was expecting. I knew Janae Godfrey and had worked with her before so I knew she was the perfect fit, and I felt comfortable with the thought of her being there to film. My last labor we had the video camera all set up and it sadly never recorded, so I knew I wanted to get this one on camera, and I didn't want to have to stress about wether or not it would work this time. As time got closer I really questioned if I wanted to have my videographer there. With home births you are in such a vulnerable state, and sometimes it's hard to let people in and see you that way. But when the time came and I went into labor I text her to come, and I am so glad that I did. My birth video is something i'll treasure for the rest of my life. She caught everything so perfectly and I'm so grateful I have it on video. I've watched it probably a thousand of times.

I highly recommend hiring a videographer or a photographer for your birth. It is something you will never regret. I am so grateful to Cass, and Janae for coming and capturing such a sweet moment in my life. A moment I can now relive forever more.

a little of 2015

So much has happened since I've blogged last. I wish I were better. Whenever I read back on posts it makes me so happy to read and see pictures of my boys who are growing so fast.
It's been a year since my last post, and now this year is almost over. So rewind about 8 months, we found out we were pregnant.
I guess Beau decided the time was right, and decided to get me pregnant without my consent, and of course, I got knocked up. I was in shock for the first 3 months mostly. I didn't think I was ready for a third. Hudson was still so much my baby to me, and I couldn't imagine bringing another into this world just quite yet. But things happen for a reason, and now that I've had months to process everything I couldn't be happier. It really wasn't until we went to our ultrasound and I got to see that little miracle in my belly at 18 weeks, that I fully started to get excited..
YES we are having another BOY. I had a feeling the whole time it was going to be a boy, really, I would have been more in shock if the ultrasound tech told me it was a girl. I guess once you've already had two you just expect it every time. Family and friends were a little bummed we weren't going to get a girl, but I really was so excited for a boy. I know boys, I love my boys, and I knew another would fit into our lives just perfectly. And a bonus, I already had everything I needed..

We've decided to name him, Erroll "Finn" Flowers. He will be called Finn. Can I just tell you how excited Beau is to have a THIRD son, because you know, he's a third son, and now he's having a third son. Just that alone made him so happy we were having a boy, that made me happy too.

I get overwhelmed when I think how much I am loved by my boys and to be adding a 3rd makes me feel beyond blessed. There is just something about boys and their mamas, and I've lucked out for sure.

We won a giveaway from Gideon photography for some family photos at the first of the year, and I knew I was pregnant so I wanted to wait until I was showing a bit more before we took them. I couldn't leave Finn out of the pictures.
I love this family of mine with my whole heart, and I marvel at the beauty Beau and I have created. Making a family with that man has been by far the best decision I've ever made. Hands down! He is the greatest Dad, and I feel so blessed. I know his boys love him too. They think he is the best guy around.

I am now 37 weeks and 4 days, Finn has been my first baby that has ever measured on time at my ultrasound, so I'm thinking he's going to actually be on time. Which is just fine with me. We have so much to do before this babe gets here and I'm not so sure I'm ready for a third. But ready or not.
It's pretty much just a waiting game from here on out.
Yesterday at my midwife appointment I was dilated to a two, and that was about it. With Hudson at 37 weeks I was dilated to a two and 60% effaced, so I had made a lot more progress at this time. Which makes me think he will be on time.
This time around hasn't been bad, 3rd pregnancies FLY BY.. And I mean FLY. I have no idea where this summer went. I think you're so busy with the two you already have that you don't have time to remember you're pregnant. But now that I'm 37 weeks I'm totally starting to feel it. Lots of back pain, hip pain, and uncomfortable contractions. Little Finn is making his way down, and he has so many people who are so excited to meet him.

We are doing another home birth. I am so excited for Noah and now Hudson to get to be apart of it as well. I don't think Hudson knows what he's in for. He knows there's a baby in there but probably just figures he'll stay in there forever. I'm excited for them to meet their little Brother, and I'm excited for Finn to meet his family who already loves him so much.
I've really been able to enjoy this pregnancy and I already feel such a strong connection to that little spirit. He is already so special to us and he has yet to arrive. I can't wait.

Hopefully my next post will be about our little Finn's arrival.

Ivin-ites.

The boys who have my heart. 

This is where we've been almost all summer, is in the backyard. They are little ivin-ites and love the red dirt. I can never get Hudson out of it. He always is wanting to go hang in the backyard. 

Hudson is into everything, still obsessed with balls, he even can kick a soccer ball, and his daddy has taught him to kick it in the goal. If he see's a ball he immediately wants it. He is obsessed with the pool. We've been going to nana's pool a lot this summer, and he wants to swim the whole time. He thinks he can swim on his own and is always trying to get out of whoever's arms he's in, and refuses any type of floaties, or raft. He is fearless. He is obsessed with Luna, our dog, and follows her around the house all day. He is a milk boy. He's been weaned for a while, and always wants his milk baba. He says, mama, dada, love you, baba, bye bye, ball, nana, papa, and we've been practicing, Noah. He's said it a couple of times.. He still loves to take baths. He has a special place in his heart for his Papa Wall, which is perfect because that is who he's named after, Hudson Robin. He is ALWAYS getting hurt, and almost always has some sort of bruise on that noggin of his. He's a tough kid and loves his brother Noah.

Noah is still into any type of super heroes. He plays it ALL day long, and is always in character. He is super into planets right now, and whenever we are driving he is always asking if we are still on planet earf (earth). He knows he lives in Ivins and as soon as he can see our big red mountains he always says, "we're home." His best friend is his cousin Axel and they play all day long. He loves primary. He has been swimming all on his own this summer with no floaties at all, and he is pretty proud of that accomplishment. He still loves the color green, thanks to hulk. He especially loves his little brother, most of the time. He goes through phases lol. We always ask him if he wants another brother and sister and he always says, "No, because babies pull my hair." He loves watching movies in the "big bed" before bed and is always begging to. He especially loves watching movies with his daddy, because he says his dad know's all the characters. Noah is such a clown, and loves attention, he is always acting out and trying to make people laugh.

These two boys are sure special and they have my heart. Each new day with these two is an adventure and I love every minute of it. They are both at the funnest ages and I just wish I could pause the time. I hope I will always remember them like this. 

Mother's Day.

This Mother's Day i was overwhelmed with gratitude. It was the day I got to reflect on the two little perfect boys I am so blessed to have, because without them, I wouldn't be a Mother.

My morning started out with Hudson in our bed, like always. He usually wakes up around 6am. I get him a bottle, and then bring him back to bed with me where he will fall back asleep. Not so long after another little boy hopped up into my bed to snuggle me. I had both of my boys on both sides of me all cuddled up, holding me. I couldn't help but choke up, almost every morning of mine is like this, but on this morning it felt even more special. I laid and pondered about how much I love these little boys who made me a mom. I love caring for them, feeding them, and nursing them back to health. These two boys have taught me more about life in the short time they have been here, than I've learned my whole 26 years on this earth. 

I love that Mother's Day always lands on a Sunday. There's nothing better than getting dressed sunday best and going to church to get to feel the spirit and hear the talks people have prepared about Mother's, and of course the primary children singing. This was Noah's first year singing in the Primary. I was so excited to get to hear him sing to me, even if he was just a goof the whole time on stage. There's nothing more sweet than the sound of little voices singing and filling the room with their sweet innocent spirits. Definitely one of my favorites.

Noah's teacher helped him fill out one of those, "What I know about my mom." surveys. His went a little like this.

my mom has brown hair, 

her favorite color is pink,

her favorite thing to eat is pancakes

her favorite thing to do is cook

she likes to play games with me

her favorite place to be is with cookies and milk

if she could go anywhere it would be with daddy

she usually laughs when I am silly.

my mom does this the best, makes cookies

I love to play with my mom.

This is what I love about my mom, laugh

I want my mom to know how much I love her.

This was just icing on the cake.

I know Mother's Day we celebrate our Mother's, but the longer I am a mom, it makes me want to celebrate the little humans who made me a mom. They are my world. 

Because of him.

This easter came fast. With Hudson being sick I almost didn't even realize it was Easter, Friday night came until and I realized I still hadn't even got the boys easter baskets. I had felt like a bad mom all week, I was so busy with Hudson, Noah had been put on the back burner with everything else. I decided I better make a quick trip to Target get some stuff for their baskets and hopefully find a fun activity for Noah to help make him realize it's Easter..
This was Hudson's first Easter, and this year Noah remembered what we do for Easter, go and collect candy at Nana's annual Easter egg hunt. He was so excited. I came home and we died eggs, while Hudson ate some eggs. Hudson still wasn't feeling 100 percent, but I was just grateful he would be able to at least function in time for us to enjoy the Holiday.
While dying eggs, I tried explaining to Noah the real reason we celebrate Easter. I told him it was Jesus' Birthday, and he said, "But Jesus lives in my heart." He is at the sweetest age. I tried explaining it to him the best I could while still trying to make sense to a 3 year old.
I think it is so important that we remember the real reason for the Holiday, and I hope that is something I can instill in my children while they are young.
During this Easter weekend, I noticed a lot of people posting using the hashtags, because of him. I loved this, I loved reading why everyone was so grateful to him, or savior. It made me start to think.
We get so caught up with our day to day, that I am grateful we have holidays such as Christmas and Easter to sit and reflect. I owe all of my blessings to him.
Because of him, I get to be a Mother and raise my two beautiful healthy boys. Because of him, I know repentance, and the importance of the atonement. Because of him, I get the blessings that come from the Temple, and having an eternal family. I owe everything to him, and that's why I try my hardest every day to be a better person, a better mother, a better daughter, a better sister, and a better friend. I try to serve, and to be more christ like. I know I am not perfect by any means, but because of him I know grace, and when I fall short he shows me that grace.
I have been so blessed beyond measure, because of him.

Huddy eating his eggs, he looks a little hung over. He was finally starting to feel a little better.

I love these boys more than they will ever know.

sick of being sick.

This poor guy had a tough first Birthday week. Like I was saying in an earlier post what started out to be teething, turned into a nasty bug. At first, I thought it was just signs of teething, because he was getting his very first tooth, but soon I knew it was much more when he started not acting like himself and his fever spiked way higher than any teething fever should. We were going on day 4 of fevers, they would spike but we were able to get them down on our own every time, with a lot of cool baths, rags, oils, and medicine. I had never had a child this sick before. He was so miserable and all he wanted to do was snuggle and sleep. I was just playing the waiting game because I knew for sure we had to almost be at the end of this bug. By Monday night I told myself if he still was feeling bad in the morning I would take him into the doctor. Well the morning came and he was finally starting to act himself again. His fever was down on it's own without the help of medicine and I thought YES we were finally getting over this thing. Well the day went on and he started to feel like crap again. I started to give him some more medicine to help. By the time Beau got home from work I had just lost it. My emotions took a toll, physical, mentally and emotionally I was exhausted and I felt so helpless. We had prayed and Beau had given him a handful of father blessing by now, and I knew there was nothing left we could do. It was about 8 pm by this time and the instacare closed at 9. His fever got to be the highest it ever had at 104. Note to all moms. Do not use a temporal monitor. We have both a temporal and the one for the ear. The temporal was reading his fever at 106. This was what freaked us out, the ear reading was reading at 104, made me feel a little better but still way too high for a baby. After going to the hospital we have learned they are not accurate and the best way to monitor any fever, would be erectal or ear.

We made it to the instacare and told them what had been going on with his fevers. Which he had also been congested, I left that out. They took his temperature and sent us to the ER, saying that they couldn't run the tests that needed to be done to figure out what was wrong with him. Little did I know that there was a clinic open until 10pm at the red rock pediatrics, I wish I would have known about it before now.

But we just wanted Hudson to be better and we weren't about to go home or wait for a doctors appt. So the ER we went. This was the most traumatizing to both Hudson and me. They ran all sorts of tests, poking and prodding, and holding him down. I felt so helpless and sad for my little Hudson. They gave him an IV to draw his blood and to test it as well as start giving him fluids, because he was hydrated. They monitored his breathing until the doctor came in, checked his urine which involved another traumatic cathedor, and swabbed his nose. The doctor came in and listened to his breathing an didn't like it so he ordered an Xray, and Hudson was put on oxygen to help his breathing. He said he sounded like he could possibly have RSV or pneumonia. We got the Xray and and waited for results. At this time it was about 1am. We were all exhausted especially Hudson and it seemed like every time he was able to fall asleep he was rudely awoken by another poke or prod. By mama heart was hurting big time. The results finally came in from the Xray and he said they didn't look as bad as he thought, thank goodness, They ruled out RSV and he told me he probably has pneumonia. By now I was feeling like the worst mom was this planet. He told me that they were waiting for transportation to take us to a room. The transportation came and loaded us up. Here I thought they were taking us to a room in the hospital we were already at, but they were giving us a ride in the ambulance to the old hospital where they treat babies. But first I made sure I wasn't being charged for this over dramatic ambulance ride, after an already over dramatic ER experience. Which we weren't. 

We got to the old hospital which was immediately so much better. The staff was so friendly and gentle, and luckily they didn't have do any more poking or prodding because the ER had already done the dirty work. There was a nice big hospital bed for beau and I and Hudson had a crib. They monitored his breathing and it had gotten better which left them wondering why it was even bad in the first place. They had to take extra precaution because they were still waiting on test results to give them answers. They started him on more fluids and an antibiotic, and left us to rest, finally.

Early morning came and Dr. Kaddu came to meet us in our room. YES I finally knew a familiar face and one I knew my baby was in good care of. He told us that all of his test results came back normal, another great answer. I asked about the pneumonia, because that had been haunting my mind and that ER doctor told me that's what he had. He reassured me that was not what he had, and that he thought it was a sinus infection. I felt to relieved at this point and so angry at the stupid ER, and Kaddu was a little irritated as well. How can you tell a mom her baby has a horrible sickness and not know for sure? That is not nice to do to a worried mom. He filled us out a prescription and we stayed a little longer trying to get his fever to stay down, which it still wasn't without medicine. I was so nervous at the thought of going home because this horrible fever was not going away, and my little baby was still so miserable. Auntie Errin came to visit with Noah in the meantime and Hudson loved that, but was so sad he had to stay when they left. He was so confused as to why we couldn't just leave. He was so mad he was hooked up to machines. It was hard. I couldn't even sooth him. At this point I had been nursing him as much as I could and I felt like that wasn't a lot because my milk was starting to dry up from weaning him the weeks before, and he wasn't showing any interest in food which was not like him. That afternoon they discharged us and we were headed home. I was so happy for Hudson that he wouldn't be hooked up to monitors and that we could finally relax at home again.

They gave us one last dose of tylenol for his fever and told us if his fever got back over 101 to give them a call. We stopped to pick up our prescription for an antibiotic and headed home. The next few days were still kind of rough for Hudson he had been so traumatized from everything that he had totally regressed from sleeping through the night, not eating normal, or even being himself. Which was taking a it's toll. Luckily his fever never came back and the antibiotics started doing its job. I have never been so drained in my life. I was just so ready for him to be back to normal again. It took a good week, but I can now say he is 100% and boy have we learned our lesson. If your baby is sick take them into their doctor. We could have avoided all of that dramatic experience. I will never go back to an ER again, unless it is absolute necessary. I feel like everything happened for a reason though, and Hudson's was necessary but we should have taken him in sooner. We are just so grateful it wasn't something bigger and that we have a healthy baby boy. That 24 hours in the hospital gave me a dose of what it would be like having a sick child and I couldn't even begin to process that. My heart goes out to all parents and babies that are sick in hospitals.

So happy to have our Huddy back.

first smile from our Huddy at the hospital. This was when Errin and Noah came to visit.

Winner winner chicken dinner.

I won this awesome giveaway Kavin Lindgren was doing on instagram. If you don't follow him already then you should. He is a talented videographer from California, and he made a trip down to do a shoot with us. I felt so honored to have won such an awesome giveaway and let alone have him shoot our family. We had so much fun, and Noah was hooked afterwards. He asked about our new friend Kavin for a good week. After the shoot, it was waiting time, we were anticipating getting to see the video once it was all edited and finished. It was like Christmas morning when Kavin emailed me the link! We are so pleased with how the video turned out, Beau even shed a few tears watching it for the first time. We seriously couldn't be happier. Kavin did such an amazing job capturing these moments of my family, moments I will cherish forever.!

You can watch the Video here!

Enjoy!

The Party Boy.

For Hudson's first Birthday I thought I would keep it simple. His birthday was on a Sunday, so I wanted to invite family over for dinner and some cake and ice cream. The week following his Birthday Hudson's first tooth had finally decided to appear, leaving him cranky with a runny nose and and little fever. I didn't think much about it until his runny nose had started to turn into a head cold, and his fever kept getting higher. I almost cancelled his party but we had family from out of town and I had already started prepping the food the night before. I didn't know what to do, I could tell he was miserable and not himself, but I figured his party was pretty low key so we could pull it off.  These are the some pictures from his party! We had fun despite Hudson being under the weather, he still loved eating his cupcake and opening presents. These pictures kill me though because I can tell how miserable he looks in all of them, and little did I know just how sick he was. Which we ended up taking him in to the hospital where we would stay the night so he could be monitored. Needless to say it was a stressful week for this Mom, and a hard first Birthday for this little guy. I'm so happy that he is finally back to feeling himself and acting normal again.